Older than dirt!

So today I got a reality check while waiting on a patient.  There she was this young women standing at my register waiting to pick up a Rx.  I asked her for her birth date to verify I had the right patient and when she replied 1995, reality hit.  I graduated high school in 1996, to technically I could have been her MOTHER.  She was wearing a shirt with the logo of a local restaurant where she apparently worked and obviously drove herself to the store, so she must have a drivers license!  The mirror tells me I have aged, but for some reason this hit home harder than most.  I think most women see themselves age along side their children so they have time to process the reality, but I haven't had that opportunity so I couldn't imagine having a child of that age.  Well, that was my epiphany of the day!

CRAFT DAY!

Jaicie and I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart and bought some craft supplies.  For some reason I felt like "creating" something pretty for Jaicies room.  My mom came over and we had a lot of fun painting and designing the letters in her name!  It was really nice to have a day off to do something fun with Jaicie.



The cutest flower arrangement!

I thought this the was cutest flower arrangement I have ever seen!   I didn't know they could  make flowers look like Shih Tzu's!  Random, yes...but so sweet!

I LOVE MY FAMILY!

I have been following this blog, written my a man who's wife and baby recently died, and it has made me think about all the great blessings I have in my life.  Sometimes we take for granted what we have and expect that they will always be around, but the truth is we never know when our last day is.  I may not have everything I want and I may feel like I am behind the curve on many things in my life, but I do have the important things.  My husband is my best friend...I love spending time with him and I think we make a good team.  The author of that blog wrote something to this effect..."I am not perfect and she was not perfect but together we were perfect."  I thought that was a great way to sum it up.  I may not have children of my own but I think I have grown in my relationship with my step-daughter.  She is 8, almost 9, and I have been in her life since she was 5.  I know it was hard when her Dad and I got together because it had just been him and her for so long.  It was hard for her to share him and I think she had some trust issues.   It was an adjustment for all of us, yet we made it through!  I have always thought of her as my own and though she has a Mom, I know she loves and looks up to me as well.  As we sit on the couch now, she is over there singing Lady Gaga with her headphones on!  I feel like I have come a long way in rebuilding my life here in Idaho.  I am thankful for the career I have today....I was able to build a decent living in a short period of time which allowed me to buy my house and go back to school.  My house is old and we pretty much gutted and re-did the whole thing but I am still proud that I OWN it.  My life is in no way perfect....I could always use more money, better fertility, a bigger house, etc, but I still think it's pretty good!  I am excited to start my program in August and finally get my degree!  I used to pray only for the things I wanted, but now I pray for the ability to find happiness regardless of the circumstance.  I think that I am now in my 30's time has a different meaning.  When I was in my early 20 's I almost felt as if I wasn' t quite grown and time was no object.  Then at 25 I finally felt "adult" and wanted to get a move on with the whole adult lifestyle...meaning, buying a house starting a family etc.  I was able to buy the house but the baby thing wasn't as easy and with one loss and no other pregnancies I was pretty well depressed.  My husband at the time wasn't on the same page and when our marriage ended I felt like an utter failure for many reasons.  I sold the house i loved, left the college I attended and left one of the dogs I raised, to start all over.  So, now at the age of 33 I still feel like I have been unable to fullfill some of those dreams and I can feel the time crunch even more.  But regardless, I am a survivor and I have learned to take the time to enjoy the things I do have these days.  I may have had a bumpy start to finding happiness, but I am thankful the journey was worth it!